TIGblogs TIG | TIGblogs GROUP TIGBLOGS LOGIN SIGNUP
M. Imran Shahid's blog


Adolescents and Peer Pressure
Related to country: Pakistan

Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Peers provide an opportunity for teens to meet their needs, to feel capable, to belong, to be respected, and to have fun. While young people often experience these needs being met within the family, the peer group provides unique and different opportunities to meet these needs. The peer group encourages autonomy, mutuality, and experimentation with self guided roles. While many families assist teens to find out who they really are and to help teens feel proud and confident of their unique traits, backgrounds, and abilities, the peer group may often be more accepting of the feelings, thoughts, and actions associated with this search for self- identity.

Although there is a common perception that "peer pressure" is the reason for many negative behaviours of adolescents, in reality, peers are necessary and crucial in helping adolescents make successful transitions. Peers can and do act as positive role models. Peers can and do demonstrate appropriate social behaviours. Peers often listen to, accept, and understand the frustrations, challenges, and concerns associated with being a teenager.

Much research has shown that peer pressure has a much greater impact on adolescent behavior than any other factor. Think about it. Your teenager spends many more of his or her waking hours with peers than with family members. The interaction is direct, and much more powerful than the influence of teachers and other authority figures. Peer pressure tends to have more of an effect on children with low self-esteem. If a child feels compelled to fit in, the teen may do things that go against his or her beliefs simply to be part of the group.

Peer pressure can lead to experimentation with drugs and alcohol, sex, skipping school, and various high-risk behaviors. If you notice a sudden change in your child's appearance, clothing, and attitude, especially if accompanied by secretive behavior, he or she may be succumbing to the influences of peers. You should be especially alert to sudden changes in the friends who make up their core peer group. An unexplained change in the type of friends you child associates with would indicate that your child is vulnerable to new influences that may not be positive.

How can parents, who spend far less time with their children than do their peers, have an influence on their teens? Parents need to set clear expectations for behavior, establish rules about communicating where and with whom their teenagers are spending their time, and should pre-set consequences for lying about activities or where they are going. By communicating your expectations, your adolescent cannot claim they "did not know" that you would be upset.

One of the most difficult issues can be when a teen decides to hang out with the "wrong crowd." Parents often find it is difficult to control such behavior. They will lament that when they forbid their teen to hang out with certain people, those people become a virtual magnet for their teen. Often by simply setting the rules about communicating their whereabouts, you will limit the effects of any peer group. However, if you really believe that a particular peer group is negatively impacting your child, it is important to deal with the reasons your teen is being influenced in this direction. He or she may have problems with self-esteem and self-confidence and feel it is necessary to fit in anyway possible, even if it means fitting in with a negative peer group. Parents will not change the teen's attitude by forbidding access to these peers. They can only change the attitude by dealing with the primary issues that cause it in the first place. An adolescent is drawn to a particular group because it "feeds" them in some way. If they are choosing the wrong group, there is a fundamental core issue that needs to be addressed therapeutically before any significant change can occur.



Talk to your teen. State clearly that you do not have a problem with their friends as people. You understand that that your teen’s friends can make mistakes – just like your teen made a mistake. But you do have a problem with the risk-taking behavior and there needs to be a change on your teen’s part and on their friend’s part in order for you to be build an action plan with your teen. Address changing the behaviors that are concerning you in the plan and allow your teen to come up with different options to these behaviors. Learn more about the problem behavior and use your discipline skills as necessary. Limit your teens unsupervised time with the friends that were involved until you feel comfortable to slowly give back more of these privileges. You will need to be more involved with your teen at this time and offer more supervised activities with their friends.

Take caution: don’t allow your teen to place all of the blame at their friend’s feet. This is an easy out and may be the way to even bigger problems for your teenager down the road. Even if your teen’s friend was 90% accountable for the misbehavior, you still need to hold your teen accountable so that he can actively deal with the problem and move on. Part of learning how to make the right choices is learning how to deal with mistakes.



When Parents Don't Approve


You may not be comfortable about your son or daughter's choice of friends or peer group. This may be because of their image, negative attitudes, or serious behaviors (such as alcohol use, drug use, truancy, violence, sexual behaviors).



Here are some suggestions:



· Get to know the friends of your teen. Learn their names, invite them into your home so you can talk and listen to them, and introduce yourself to their parents.

· Do not attack your child's friends. Remember that criticizing your teen's choice of friends is like a personal attack.

· Help your teen understand the difference between image (expressions of youth culture) and identity (who he or she is).

· Keep the lines of communication open and find out why these friends are important to your teenager.

· Check whether your concerns about their friends are real and important.

· If you believe your concerns are serious, talk to your teenager about behavior and choices -- not the friends.

· Encourage your teen's independence by supporting decision-making based on principles and not other people

· Let your teen know of your concerns and feelings

· Encourage reflective thinking by helping your teen think about his or her actions in advance and discussing immediate and long-term consequences of risky behavior.

· Remember that we all learn valuable lessons from mistakes

February 23, 2008 | 2:52 AM Comments  0 comments

Tags:
You must be logged in to add tags.


M. Imran Shahid's Profile

M. Imran Shahid's Friends


Latest Posts
Adolescents and Peer...
Adolecents and Drug Use
HIV&AIDS Vulnerability...
Health care workers &...
Stress

Monthly Archive
April 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008

Change Language


Tags Archive
acute infection

Filter By Type
Travel
Topics

Friends
Caitlin Leigh Chandler
Joya Banerjee

Links
www.pnac.net.pk


8795 views
Important Disclaimer