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Adolescents and Peer Pressure
Related to country: Pakistan

Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Peers provide an opportunity for teens to meet their needs, to feel capable, to belong, to be respected, and to have fun. While young people often experience these needs being met within the family, the peer group provides unique and different opportunities to meet these needs. The peer group encourages autonomy, mutuality, and experimentation with self guided roles. While many families assist teens to find out who they really are and to help teens feel proud and confident of their unique traits, backgrounds, and abilities, the peer group may often be more accepting of the feelings, thoughts, and actions associated with this search for self- identity.

Although there is a common perception that "peer pressure" is the reason for many negative behaviours of adolescents, in reality, peers are necessary and crucial in helping adolescents make successful transitions. Peers can and do act as positive role models. Peers can and do demonstrate appropriate social behaviours. Peers often listen to, accept, and understand the frustrations, challenges, and concerns associated with being a teenager.

Much research has shown that peer pressure has a much greater impact on adolescent behavior than any other factor. Think about it. Your teenager spends many more of his or her waking hours with peers than with family members. The interaction is direct, and much more powerful than the influence of teachers and other authority figures. Peer pressure tends to have more of an effect on children with low self-esteem. If a child feels compelled to fit in, the teen may do things that go against his or her beliefs simply to be part of the group.

Peer pressure can lead to experimentation with drugs and alcohol, sex, skipping school, and various high-risk behaviors. If you notice a sudden change in your child's appearance, clothing, and attitude, especially if accompanied by secretive behavior, he or she may be succumbing to the influences of peers. You should be especially alert to sudden changes in the friends who make up their core peer group. An unexplained change in the type of friends you child associates with would indicate that your child is vulnerable to new influences that may not be positive.

How can parents, who spend far less time with their children than do their peers, have an influence on their teens? Parents need to set clear expectations for behavior, establish rules about communicating where and with whom their teenagers are spending their time, and should pre-set consequences for lying about activities or where they are going. By communicating your expectations, your adolescent cannot claim they "did not know" that you would be upset.

One of the most difficult issues can be when a teen decides to hang out with the "wrong crowd." Parents often find it is difficult to control such behavior. They will lament that when they forbid their teen to hang out with certain people, those people become a virtual magnet for their teen. Often by simply setting the rules about communicating their whereabouts, you will limit the effects of any peer group. However, if you really believe that a particular peer group is negatively impacting your child, it is important to deal with the reasons your teen is being influenced in this direction. He or she may have problems with self-esteem and self-confidence and feel it is necessary to fit in anyway possible, even if it means fitting in with a negative peer group. Parents will not change the teen's attitude by forbidding access to these peers. They can only change the attitude by dealing with the primary issues that cause it in the first place. An adolescent is drawn to a particular group because it "feeds" them in some way. If they are choosing the wrong group, there is a fundamental core issue that needs to be addressed therapeutically before any significant change can occur.



Talk to your teen. State clearly that you do not have a problem with their friends as people. You understand that that your teen’s friends can make mistakes – just like your teen made a mistake. But you do have a problem with the risk-taking behavior and there needs to be a change on your teen’s part and on their friend’s part in order for you to be build an action plan with your teen. Address changing the behaviors that are concerning you in the plan and allow your teen to come up with different options to these behaviors. Learn more about the problem behavior and use your discipline skills as necessary. Limit your teens unsupervised time with the friends that were involved until you feel comfortable to slowly give back more of these privileges. You will need to be more involved with your teen at this time and offer more supervised activities with their friends.

Take caution: don’t allow your teen to place all of the blame at their friend’s feet. This is an easy out and may be the way to even bigger problems for your teenager down the road. Even if your teen’s friend was 90% accountable for the misbehavior, you still need to hold your teen accountable so that he can actively deal with the problem and move on. Part of learning how to make the right choices is learning how to deal with mistakes.



When Parents Don't Approve


You may not be comfortable about your son or daughter's choice of friends or peer group. This may be because of their image, negative attitudes, or serious behaviors (such as alcohol use, drug use, truancy, violence, sexual behaviors).



Here are some suggestions:



· Get to know the friends of your teen. Learn their names, invite them into your home so you can talk and listen to them, and introduce yourself to their parents.

· Do not attack your child's friends. Remember that criticizing your teen's choice of friends is like a personal attack.

· Help your teen understand the difference between image (expressions of youth culture) and identity (who he or she is).

· Keep the lines of communication open and find out why these friends are important to your teenager.

· Check whether your concerns about their friends are real and important.

· If you believe your concerns are serious, talk to your teenager about behavior and choices -- not the friends.

· Encourage your teen's independence by supporting decision-making based on principles and not other people

· Let your teen know of your concerns and feelings

· Encourage reflective thinking by helping your teen think about his or her actions in advance and discussing immediate and long-term consequences of risky behavior.

· Remember that we all learn valuable lessons from mistakes

February 23, 2008 | 2:52 AM Comments  0 comments

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Adolecents and Drug Use
Related to country: Pakistan

Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

It’s hard to fight drug use among teens, but it can be done. Young people are more intelligent than we often give them credit for being. If we talk with them about specific drugs and their negative effects, it will go a long way towards winning the battle against teen drug use
It’s also interesting and important to note that parental involvement plays a vital role. The strongest declines in drug use occurred during years when more parents and guardians were talking to their kids about the risks of drug use, and the kids were exposed to anti-drug messages in the media. Some statistics actually show an increase of drug use during years when parental involvement was down, even if anti-drug media exposure was up.

Factors associated with increased risk for any type of illicit drug use include at least one or more of the following:

Poor parent-child relations. Studies show that living in a stressful home environment with relatively little parental support and monitoring places adolescents at greater risk for drug use.
Family environments that model drug use. Adolescents are more likely to use drugs if someone in their home uses drugs. For example, parents who use drugs may practice poor parenting which may increase the risk of drug abuse for adolescents. Also, parental or sibling drug use sets a model of acceptable inappropriate behavior for teens, makes it seem like a normal part of life, and may encourage its acceptance by youth.
Peer drug use. During adolescence, peers become a major influence because of the increased time spent with them outside of the home. Some teens feel pressured to fit in and do what their friends are doing. Consequently, teens that have friends who use drugs are more likely to use drugs themselves.

High risk communities. Living in communities where drug use is widespread not only makes drug accessibility easier, but also normalizes the act of using drugs.
Low self-esteem. Adolescents who do not have positive views of themselves, or who lack support and encouragement from others are more likely to use drugs.
Poor school achievement. Teens who have negative attitudes toward school and low expectations of academic success are at increased risk of drug use. Also, teens who use drugs typically exhibit declines in grades, and inconsistent attendance at school.
What Are the Consequences
The effects of drug use vary by type of drug and frequency of use, however, some

consequences may include the following:

Mental and physical health problems. Teens who use drugs are at greater risk for developing a number of health problems including attention deficit disorder, anxiety disorders, phobias, and depression.

Increased likelihood of drug use later in life. Early drug use has been linked to positive attitudes toward drug use. Consequently, teens who begin drug use early are at risk for continued drug habits into and through adulthood.
Involvement in other illegal activities. Drug use has been linked to higher tolerance of deviant behavior among adolescents. This results in increased criminal activity for drug users compared to non-drug using peers.
Increased likelihood of death. Drug use increases the odds of death from accidental or intentional drug overdoses as well as engagement in other unsafe behaviors (e.g., driving under the influence).

What Can Parents Do

Communication is key in dealing with any type of risk taking behavior during the teen years. The hectic pace of work and school can sometimes estrange family members, especially parents and teens. But make the effort to keep in touch with your teen. Find out what's going on in his or her life. The best way to find out if your teen is using drugs is to just ask. During adolescence, parents may feel that their influence over their teen's life is waning, but in fact, you have more power than anyone to prevent your child from using drugs. Here are some things that you can do to encourage your child to "Just Say No."

Stay connected with your teen. Keeping up to date with your teen's interests and friends is an important step in creating a warm, communicative, and open environment. If your teen feels that you are available and easy to talk to, then he or she will be more likely to share concerns that might lead to risk taking behavior.

Begin an ongoing conversation with your teen (vs. giving a one time speech). Make it clear that drug use is not an acceptable behavior in your family and be sure to talk about the reasons why. Talk about the consequences of drug use. Help your teen visualize two futures, one that includes drug use and one that remains drug free. Where do these paths lead? Discuss your teen's life goals and how drug use can hinder them from reaching them.
Empower your teen. Teens tend to want to rebel against their parents' standards or advice. Rather than dictate what your child should or should not do, remind him or her that they have the power of choice and that you trust that they can and will make good decisions.
Teens sometimes abuse substances as a way of alleviating stress. Some experiences in life (e.g., not making the basketball team, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend) are both stressful and painful. Drugs are often sought as a means of temporarily easing pain or stress. Talk to your teen about any stressful events that are going on in his or her life and ways they can effectively handle them.

Know your teen's friends. You can influence your teen's choice of peers by talking with them about the qualities that make a good friend.

Encourage your teen's self-esteem by praising their efforts and achievements. Help them to master the things that they are good at. Show them you care through your involvement in their lives/activities.
Take advantage of teachable moments. These include talking about scenes in movies or news headlines that deal with drug associated topics. Explain your position on these topics and ask your teen how they feel about what they are viewing.
Encourage healthy activities that promote the use of your teen's interests and talents. Most teens are curious and are eager to try something new and challenging. High school is the peak time for both beginning substance use and beginning lifetime habits that include using illegal substances. Your parental example, support, and monitoring has a great influence on your teen's behavior. Talk early and often about the consequences of and alternatives to using illicit drugs.